It’s 5.30am and I’m awake again.
This is unusual for me. I often sleep like a log when I go to bed. 💤
I’m trying to stay positive and supportive for E, but my anxieties of the ongoing pregnancy and E’s mental health is affecting my sleep.
Post scan on Wednesday we had a few hours of elation, but then the smudging started again. E’s anxiety rose and her pessimism.
The last 6 years of failed cycles and post failure sadness has ‘programmed’ E to expect the worst. Of course I understand it’s just a protection mechanism.
Apart from the smudging that has appeared every time E wipes after she pees (sorry bit graphic there) and occasional twinges, she has had no fresh blood or period like pain. That I find encouraging. As a GP, I know pregnant women experience bleeding in early pregnancy, but still go on to have a healthy baby.
But waiting for her planned scan next Thursday just seems too far away. So we checked locally online to see how we can pay for a private scan in between.
It’s seems it’s a business model some private health companies offer. As long as you are 7 weeks gestation and you pay approximately £75, you can have a scan and a print out.
She is 7 weeks pregnant today. 😲😊
With the years of failure and the last miscarriage, we’re happy to pay for one of these scans every 1-2 weeks until the end of the 1st trimester, which I hope we get to.
So our scan appointment is in about 5 hours. I can’t sleep, so I’m blogging.
I really hope this scan shows everything is going well.
These next 5 weeks will hopefully go quickly and smoothly for us both. 🤞😬