It’s been over a year since a wrote a post because I felt I had nothing to share and had enough of posting negative, miserable blogs. It was a tough time, E’s sister had her second child and our 3rd IVF cycle hadn’t worked.
Then a few months later we tried a 4th miserable cycle expecting failure. We were convinced things wouldn’t work, so when the 2WW ended we were prepared for the worst.
But unexpectedly the result was POSITIVE. 🙌😃
We weren’t expecting that and were shocked. E was elated and told her immediate family. I wasn’t sure whether to tell my sister due to our difficult relationship, so I didn’t.
For 1 week E was very happy and spent time talking baby stuff with her sister and we thought about the future.
But then E started spotting, daily and then it worsened and more blood passed. She was approximately 4 weeks pregnant, too early to have a scan. She bled far longer than we expected and we were devastated.
The miscarriage hit E hard. We went from happiness back to our sadness and loneliness again.
E couldn’t face having further IVF for 6 months. We did things, went on a few holidays, I had my 40th birthday and party (fancy dress and good fun!) and I waited for her to feel ready to restart a new cycle. I understood she was scared but I felt time getting away from us and her anxiety of having another miscarriage had almost turned into a phobia.
She went to see a counsellor she really likes and decided it was time to try again.
At the end of July, E felt she could try a new IVF cycle. We used exactly the same regime as before: 375 IU Menopur daily then Prednisolone and Clexane from egg transfer day. Plus the uterine scratch the previous month too.
Despite a few hiccups where I under ordered drugs, I was hopeful that E would have a high chance of getting pregnant again. As a GP, I have seen many women get pregnant after miscarriages- it seems a miscarriage sensitises the womb to potential future pregnancy.
So at the end of the 2WW I was hopeful but also anxious. We both were.
The result was POSITIVE again. 😲
But we were anxious about getting past the first week based on the last cycle. We got past 1 week and then entered a second week. We contacted the fertility unit and arranged an ultrasound scan at 6 + weeks.
Then 24 hours before our scan today, E texted me at work saying she had some spotting- well some smudging of blood. I spoke with her and then felt sick but had to continue seeing patients. I rushed home from work and monitored her trips to the bathroom to see if there was more bleeding/ spotting/ smudging.
I saw the smudging but wasn’t convinced it was fresh blood. Throughout the day she had slight smudging and nothing at all.
E was on tenterhooks and was nauseous with anxiety. Her sleep hasn’t been great these last 6 weeks- the steroids being the main cause and also anxiety.
By 7 am this morning she continued to have pelvic twinges but no further smudging.
We drove to the fertility unit and met our fertility doctor and she did the scan. My heart felt like it was in my mouth.
Our fertility doctor said she could see the first gestation sac. And then she clarified she could see two gestation sacs. WTF!!! 😲😲❤️❤️
E started crying and I was shocked. 😲😂
I hoped for one, but didn’t expect two. We saw two heart beats. We’ve got ultrasound print outs.
So now we are in a state of shock, both happy but still anxious.
We are due to see the fertility doctor next week for another scan at 7 weeks and have been advised to contact the community midwife team for booking tests and dating scan etc.
It’s hard to not make future plans because we’ve never been on this situation before. We will be taking each day and week as it comes and aim for the safety zone of the first trimester and obviously the birth.
I felt it had been quite a while since I wrote anything on my blog and wanted to tell somebody and you’ve all been helpful I’m the past. I’ll wait a bit longer before telling my sister though.
Hope to keep you updated!
PS- I forgot to mention one thing that has happened since I last blogged. E and I got married on December 23rd. After years of delay we decided to go for it and it was an amazing day!