This might be a complete generalisation for my gender, but I suspect most men don’t talk about their desire to have a baby aloud or even to their male friends. Women are far better than men when it comes to chatting about feelings, emotions and babies.
Generally, most women have an innate biological urge to be involved in the creation, carrying and birth of a baby. The loss of that choice can be heart breaking for any woman.
Most people have an opinion about someone who is pregnant or just given birth, but it seems to be a lot harder to chat openly when someone or a couple has infertility. I’ve tried it- I’ve seen friends and family become uncomfortable and unsure how to act or what to say. It becomes hard to share, so in the end the couple hides their secret and only talks between themselves, but this can cause problems.
For E and I, this had led to stress, arguments, disappointment and anger. I’ve found it both sad and frustrating to see the inevitable consequence of E spending time with her nieces and nephews and friends babies- crying.
There have been times where I think maybe I wouldn’t have been a good Dad and not passing my genes onto the next generation is a good thing. But time spent with my nieces, nephews and children through work has made me think that although I won’t be a biological Dad, I reckon I have some good qualities to pass onto a child and ultimately what is important?
Nature or nurture?