Us men are very good at coming up with euphemisms.
‘Bun in the oven’
‘Going for a slash’
‘A little bit of how’s your father’
‘Hop on the good foot on do the bad thing’
There’s a 100 plus more where they came from. (see Gregology). We are generally prudish about issues regarding the sexual organs, so use euphemisms and humour to express a point.
There is only one euphemism I’m aware of regarding male infertility. It’s usually a private issue for men and could be interpreted as a lack of masculinity. Because, if your a man shooting blanks- are you really a man? We men would never talk about this to our friends, let alone on a public blog like this!
Azoospermia. That’s the medical name for specifically lack of sperm. Alas, it’s also what I’ve got.
To make matters more complicated, I am a practising GP, so I am fully aware of the causes and implications of my condition. I come from a big family, where as far as I know, I’m probably the only one to be infertile, although since we men don’t talk about these scary issues, I may not be.
We doctor-patients are the worse kind of patient. We know the causes, investigations and management of infertility, but for the irreversible causes, we are powerless to help ourselves. What a bummer!
As a GP, I’ve noticed a gradual increase in the number of infertile or sub fertile couples coming in to see a doctor, like myself. Often the cause is not obvious. Though nowhere near epidemic, there are definitely more infertile couples around or maybe they are more aware of the services available to them and present earlier?
It seems the one job, as a man, I was biologically created for I cannot fulfil. Because I am infertile, I cannot pass my genes onwards and as such be a biological parent.
But my infertility is only a small part of the shit my fiancée, E and I have to deal with over the last 3 years.